TeressaByrdUnit6BlogDiscussionInitialResponse
#3A: One of the hardest things for me to do is to wish no suffering, health, happiness and wholeness for people who have absolutely no remorse for hurting me or the ones, such as my husband, who is closest to me. On the other hand, as I write this, I also felt ashamed of myself for thinking such of a thing. I mean, how many times have I hurt Jesus, my Lord and Savior with all of my intentional sins, but yet He still loves me. He still wants the very best for me. So, I should follow His example, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,” (New International Version, 2011, Luke 23:33-35).
I will forgive the people who have wronged me and the ones closest to me, so that I, too, will have freedom from suffering, health happiness and wholeness.
#3B: The area, from my interpretation, that I need to focus on right now is the Interpersonal aspect of my life. I have really been focusing on this a lot, though for about six months. Most of the things I am waiting on is dependent on other people receiving my apologies for doing any wrong to them, and then their accepting me back. They say they would not have said the harsh things they said if they did not love me, that I took their harsh words as an attack. But I just wonder how I was supposed to take their threat of taking my kids away from me for anything less than a threat. Their words to me were, “We are just worried about the kids, we could care less what you do, we just want to know the kids are taken care of,” like I was not going to take care of my kids or something. Now, it would have been different if I had abandoned my children (unforgivable in my book), if I was on drugs or gambling or drinking…but I was NOT DOING ANY of those things! When I did leave my children, they were in good hands, and if I could not make sure of that, I would not go anywhere. I was not perfect, but even in choosing jobs, my children were number one.
I believe I have applied everything I know to do from past experience, except for what I am learning to apply integral practices, with the exception of meditation breathing health and wellness to my son, who is taking my move as a total attack on him, when I hardly saw him in the last two years of our lives, anyway.
Anyone that can give any insight or advice, given the information I have provided now and in the past blogs, or if you need more information to help me to decide what path to take would be appreciated. I just need direction right now. I went from being an avid church attendee and server to almost non-existent. I am learning about the Mormon faith, but I cannot progress in it as quickly as I would like, given I have to study for college and for my massage therapy exam again. I have not decided if the Mormon faith is for me or not. I have to be careful about all of this to make sure it lines up with the Word of God before I make my final decision. I feel lost spiritually for lack of service, I feel lost emotionally because of the people that have turned their back on me for moving to Colorado from Alabama.
New International Version, (2011). Biblegateway.com. Key Word Search: they know not what they do. Retrieved on June 26, 2011 from the web site: http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/index.php?search=they%20know%20not%20what%20they%20do&version1=NIV&searchtype=all&limit=none&wholewordsonly=no&startnumber=26
Teresa,
ReplyDeleteI love your blog. We share some of the same ideas. It's hards wishing well for those that want to harm you or your family. I realize everyday when watching the news, there are those who do not regard the lives or property of others. And when confronted with thier crime, thier is no remorse. Why waste tax payers money with a trial. I know God is a forgiving God but its hard to forgive those who wronged you.
It is hard to uproot all you know and believe. It is even harder to leave in anger and/or with deep wounds on your soul. You are human, this means you are not nor never will be perfect. But you have the ability to learn from life experiences and grow into a type of perfection; that being the wholeness that comes when broken parts are mended together again.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is a first step in healing. It allows the mind to move forward with the heart open. Hurt is a strange thing. The last thing we want to do is set ourselves up for more of it. However, hardening your heart is not an answer either. We must be able to love, forgive, and show gratitude to others if we expect the same to be shown to us. Have you considered moving from the faith you felt so secure in may be contributing to your discord? If you were very active in your faith consider this…Did it abandon you or you it? Faith is a source of strength, rock solid and never changing. Faith can be counted on when people cannot. Look within not without for answers.
Consider this statement and see if you find truth with in it. People do not let you down, it is their actions not living up to your expectations that does. Is it your family that has let you down or is it them not living up to your perception of how they should have been? It is hard to see past the emotion in some things; this is one of them. People do unspeakable things but should that dominate who you become?